


dark side of the morning

by goandneverlookback



Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: Implied/Referenced Alcoholism, M/M, Song fic, Tree Bros, it ain't me, slight though, whiskey neat
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-21
Updated: 2017-11-21
Packaged: 2019-02-05 03:26:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 543
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12785943
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/goandneverlookback/pseuds/goandneverlookback
Summary: Alone again in the early hours of the morning, Evan decides he can't do it anymore.*Song fic It Ain't Me/Whiskey Neat





	dark side of the morning

The clock blinks 3:57am as he lays in the too empty bed, heart racing and sinking all at once. He can’t do this anymore. The sleepless nights, the exhausting mornings. Somewhere around six hours from now Connor will stumble through the door again. That or Evan will get a call from one of the local bars and like always, he’ll get up and go pick Connor up from wherever he’s crashed. It all started out so much different than they’d ended up. Butterflies and stolen kisses and nights spent together and now…Evan swings his legs off the side of the bed, shoving aside all the thoughts of Connor. The day Connor asked Evan to be his boyfriend. The first time Connor kissed him. The first time Connor said he loved him. All the fall afternoons together in the park, picnics and naps beneath the clouds. All the winter evenings sharing a blanket and sipping cups of cocoa, giggling at the whipped cream on Connor’s nose, Connor demanding Evan kiss it off, Evan gladly complying. And then…Connor’s dad’s funeral. Things changed. Occasional evenings together at a bar turned into routine nights clear until morning with Connor seeking…something at the bottom of a bottle, something Evan couldn’t seem to give. Mornings holding Connor’s hair back as he crouches over the toilet. Mornings spent with Connor in his arms, Connor clinging to him for dear life, wiping Connor’s tears as they stream down his gaunt face. Mornings stroking Connor’s hair until he finally falls into a short, restless sleep. Months passed and the tears began to fade. Months turned into a year and the tears stopped, but the drinking didn’t. Even when Connor was home, he was different. He was closed off, irritable, distant. Evan can’t do it anymore. He tried the best he could to help Connor. He can’t stay and watch Connor destroy himself. The clock blinks 7:43am as Evan looks around at the few boxes he’s packed all his belongings into. His eyes are oddly dry as he loads the boxes into the trunk of his car. It’s been time to do this for a while. One last thing before he goes. Evan grabs a pen and pad of paper. All the words that normally come spilling out of him seems to have dried up as he stares at the blank page. Connor—I’m sorry. I can’t do this anymore. I love you. Yours forever, me. A tear rolls down his cheek as he tears off the page and leaves it on the kitchen table. Keys in the ignition, car in reverse, and…he’s gone. The clock on the dash blinks 8:13am as he drives to work, his life packed in his car with him, his heart…somewhere Evan has decided he can’t want to know anymore.  
The clock on the microwave shows 10:17am as Connor slams the door behind him. A piece of paper on the kitchen table catches his eye. He reads the note once…twice…the third time, the words on the page sink into Connor’s foggy mind. For the first time in months, Connor breaks down in sobs, clutching the note like he so often clung to the one who wrote it.


End file.
